dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
