Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
