Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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