The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
