I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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