i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
