I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
