hell yes lets make some ravioli
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
