Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
