I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
