Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
