she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
