I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
