Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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