Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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