Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The power of my boobs compel you
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
