i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
