I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
