is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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