P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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