I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
