i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize