As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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