All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
