Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
