I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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