After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
