Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
