i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
