its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
