i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
