Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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