From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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