Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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