Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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