Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
