He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
