Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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