And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
