you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
