it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
