we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
