i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
