Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
