sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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