white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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