Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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