It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
