I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
