R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
