I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dicks are not precious.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize