she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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