Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I did not marry a roomba.
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