I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
