One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
