i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
