he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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