I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
