You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize