Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
