Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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