Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
