it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize