Will you blow on my dice?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
