How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
