just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize