Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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