she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just googled if crying burns calories
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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