youre lurking in front of me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
