In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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