everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
